Changing How You Think

This was definitely my favorite talk and quote from this past week's LDS General Conference.

I know that I talk about marriage in practically every single post, but hey, what else am I supposed to talk about? Plus, marriage is still very new to me and so I like sharing the things that I learn along the way, and getting advice from those of you who are more experienced. 

Living with someone is definitely an adjustment. Even if you think the two of you are so similar and get along so well, it's definitely still a shock. The first couple of months that H and I were married were hard. Like I said in this post, we were arguing all the time about things that didn't even matter. Obviously we are two different people, and so we respond to situations differently. Which is fine. Except it's not. Because I want him to agree with me or respond how I want him to. [Which is so wrong on my part.] So learning how to handle each situation and keeping your love and your marriage alive and happy is something that will always take work.

The things that have been the hardest for me since we got married are these:

First, H is someone who is very calm and reserved when it comes to how he feels. When we were dating, whenever we would disagree on something, he would just back down and let me have my way. [Which I didn't mind! ;] But now that we're married, I get so mad at him when he does that. Because if I say something that he doesn't agree with, I can see it on his face that he wants to argue, but then he just holds it back. But I know him so well that I already know by the look on his face what he's going to say, so it annoys me that he's not just saying it! You know? And in his mind, he thinks he's being the bigger person by not trying to start a fight. But in my crazy girl mind, he's starting the fight by not saying anything. And then when I start getting mad, he just shuts off and won't talk. Which gets me even more upset! [I know that right now I am making it seem like I'm a crazy wife; but to my single friends: just you wait. You'll understand what I mean one day. Or maybe you won't. Maybe I am just crazy!] 

And when it comes to housework, H comes from a family where his mom did everything for him. Literally everything. Made his lunch and dinner every day, did his laundry, cleaned his room [even though he won't admit it.] And I came from a family with 3 brothers, and my sweet daddy would always make the boys do everything. [No, I'm not spoiled... ;] So I would clean and cook when I wanted to, but when I didn't want to, usually I didn't have to. And one isn't better than the other, they were just different lifestyles. So when H and I got married, we kind of went through a little phase of "uhmm the bathroom is dirty, who's going to clean it?" And admittedly, we still sometimes struggle with this. I feel like as the wife, I should do most of the housework, but my days are longer than H's so then I also feel like he should do some of the work when he's home alone. So most days the dishes are piled up in the sink and there are baskets of laundry needing to get done, and we both want the other to do it. It's honestly a weird feeling. [But don't worry--I told H that as soon as he lets me have a baby and be a stay at home mom, I have no problem spending all day cooking and cleaning.]

Anyway, the point of this blog post is to let you all know that marriage is really hard. But it's meant to be hard. It's something that you both have to constantly work on and try to improve in order for the two of you to grow closer to God. And as long as you always remember why you fell in love and try to nurture your marriage [even if at times it seems like your spouse isn't trying], the small things won't even matter. Another one of my favorite quotes from Elder Clayton's talk was this: "Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else. But with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart." And I know from experience that trying to change your husband's habits or decisions does no one any good and most of the time it doesn't work. But what I have been working on doing is changing my reaction to his choices and habits. Because your reaction and attitude is truly what will make or break every situation. Whenever H says or does something that upsets me, I try to sit there and think before I say anything. Because there are always two choices: get upset and say something back that I will later regret, or let it go and think about all of the reasons why I'm in love with him. And I'll tell you this--every time that I choose the second option, our night goes a heck of a lot better than it would have if I had gotten upset and started a fight.

I'd love to hear what has/hasn't worked with you and your marriages! All advice and thoughts are welcome! 

xoxo,

The Happiest Place on Earth

As most of you know, H and I spent the last few days at Disneyland with my family and our friends Hunter and Alissa. This vacation was at exactly the right time and place that we needed it, too! We all stayed at the Paradise Pier Hotel, which was so nice, because we only had to walk across the street and through the Grand Californian Hotel to get into California Adventure and Disneyland, as opposed to our honeymoon where we had to walk almost 2 miles. [Not that 2 miles is a marathon or anything, but it was just nice to be super close!] Another perk that came with staying in one of the Disneyland Hotels was that we got the Extra Magic Hour every morning, which allowed us into the parks one hour before it opened to the public. That alone has already convinced me to stay at the Disneyland hotels in the future, because we rode California Screamin (twice), Toy Story Mania (twice), the Carousel, and one of the Cars rides! There were no lines and it was amazing! It was even better than the Fast Passes. [Or as my dad called them the entire time... Speed Passes. He's so cute.]

Anyway, the trip was perfect, and I loved going back to our Honeymoon location! We ate at the same Disneyland restaurant that we were obsessed with on our honeymoon, and I got the same delicious chocolate cake twice! I ate at least 5 churros [I'm obsessed, okay?] and it was so fun to be there with my family, and watch H interact with all of my nieces and nephews. He was literally carrying one of the two youngest girls around the entire time. They loved him!! And so do I. I had a super cute floral backpack that H carried around for most of the trip. It was adorable. I sure love that man. He does so much for me! :)

[My favorite picture of this trip!! H is so dang cute, and he's going to be the cutest daddy! I can't wait!!]

[YOLO. Our motto this trip. Only as a joke, of course. I hate when people say this! haha]

My favorite memories from this trip:

• My two youngest nieces were obsessed with H, and every ride that we would go on, they would always shout, "I want to be Heath's partner!" It was very endearing, even though they were stealing my partner!
• Hunter, Alissa, H and I decided to ride Splash Mountain one night right before the park was closing. It was pretty chilly outside, so there was no line for it. The first time we rode it, I was sitting in the front, with H right behind me, and we got so wet! I was completely soaked from head to toe, and H got it pretty bad too! Right after we got off, we ran back around to ride it again [still no line], but we made Hunter and Alissa sit in front. But for some reason they didn't hardly get wet! Maybe it had something to do with the weight distribution and my 200+ pound husband sitting up front! And then as if walking around soaking wet in the freezing cold wasn't enough, Alissa decided that she needed ice cream right then, so we stopped at an ice cream place [with a loooooong line] so she could get her ice cream. ;) 

• And lets not forget about the time that we went to lunch at the Golden Horseshoe in Disneyland where they do silly, crowd interactive shows every hour. My cute dad is in love with these shows and convinced us to go there for lunch one day. And much to his excitement, they called him and my brother up on stage to be part of the show! It was pretty fun! [For some reason my computer isn't letting me upload the video, so check out my Facebook for a few minutes of entertainment!] 

Anyway, I love Disneyland so, so much! There is a reason why they call it the Happiest Place on Earth! I can't wait to go back again. Hopefully it's soon, if H will let us. ;) 

Do any of you have any fun plans for Spring Break??

The Good Stuff

This post is completely dedicated to the good stuff. You know what I mean. Those things that just make you realize how good you have it, how lucky you are, how great this world can be, etc. And I apologize in advance that the majority of these are about H. But hey, he just makes my life more wonderful, every single day.

• Like how H has this crazy obsession for frozen pizzas. I swear, almost every night he asks if he can just have pizza for dinner. So I put two pizzas in the oven for us, and when it came time for me to get them out, somehow I dropped my pizza and it fell through the oven rack. All of the cheese peeled off and it landed upside down. My pizza was ruined. And yes, I may have started crying. [Seriously guys, I'm a cry baby. But hey, in my defense, mother nature had just paid me a little visit. It was just one of those days.] Anyway, H rushed to the rescue, and comforted me by telling me that he would eat the gross one, and he gave me the good one. COME ON. Can this guy get any more perfect? 

• Or how about the time that H and I were babysitting a few kids for a weekend. And one of the days we took them to the park. And cute, overprotective H wouldn't leave the kids alone. Seriously. He was afraid that they were going to get hurt, so instead of sitting on the bench with me, he got up onto the playground and watched them from up there the entire time, always there to help them up if they fell down, or to help them down the slide. I won't lie, it was very endearing. I can't wait until we have kids. I know that he is going to be the best daddy ever. [And yes, I am still baby hungry. Before I met H, I used to judge people for having babies so soon after getting married, and now I'm the one, 3 months after marriage, begging my husband to have a baby right away. I can't help it. They're just so cute!]

• And on a side note, can we just talk about how amazing little kids are? When we were at the park with my nieces and nephew, and with the kids that we were babysitting, I was surprised and amazed at how easily they made friends. They don't care about what others look like or what they are wearing. They don't care if they talk different or act different. They just automatically become friends. They love so easily. When we were leaving the park, my 7 year old niece was so sad, saying, "but I want to stay and play with my best friend!" That is something that I admire so much. I am a very friendly person, but I will admit that I can be very judgmental. I love the quality that all children seem to possess--to love, and not judge. Not to get all churchy on everyone, but a scripture from the Book of Mormon comes to mind: Mosiah 3:19 "...and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as child doth submit to his father."

• [To add to the list of cute H stories...] The other night, H and I were getting ready for bed, and like usual we started acting all goofy. But this night in particular, H started talking in a weird accent and being super silly. And for those of you that may know him, you know that this is kind of a rare occurrence. He is usually reserved and more on the quiet side until you really get to know him. And laughing, I said, "I love this. You're not even like this with your brother or your friends!" And without a pause, he says, "I'm only like this with my best friend." Okay seriously?? He's the cutest. [And yes, I did in fact start tearing up. As usual. I think we've already established the fact that I'm a baby. But I am especially emotional when he says cute things like that to me.] I'm a lucky girl.

• Or what about the fact that this came in the mail last week??!! I AM FREAKING OUT. I know that H and I just went there 3 months ago for our honeymoon, but really, can you ever go to Disneyland too much? And plus, this time we are staying in the Disneyland Hotel! It is truly my favorite [and the happiest] place on earth. And we are leaving in 17 days! So excited! And to make this trip even better, our newlywed best friends, Hunter and Alissa are coming with. This trip is seriously going to be amazing!

• And last but not least, this cute video. Abigail [my niece] is in the kissing stage and has been kissing me all day. Even better, she had a chocolate cake covered face while she was trying to kiss me. [Please disregard my greasy hair and lack of makeup!] And even cuter, is how much she giggles when I play it back to her. Sorry for the bad quality!

So anyway. These are just some of the memorable moments in my life lately. I think in life there are a lot of things that bring us down or that give us negative thoughts, about ourselves, others, or the world around us. But I do think it's important to try to focus on the positive. To be grateful for the things that you have, and not wish for things you don't have. To always show gratitude where gratitude is due. That is another quality that I am striving for, and one that I have been trying to enforce in the kids that I nanny. That you don't always need more. That it's okay to just have what you need, and not necessarily what you want. To just say thank you. As a newlywed, I believe this is a very important quality to have; one that can make you or break you, and admittedly one that I struggle with. Sometimes I just want to go shopping, or I want to buy things that we don't necessarily need at the grocery store. And even to just be grateful when my husband does something to show his love for me, even if it isn't exactly what I would have hoped for. But H constantly has to remind me to focus only on our needs, and to not be selfish or ungrateful. That boy sure knows what he's talking about! I'm a lucky girl to have him for eternity!

What are some of your memorable moments lately?

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day...

I have always had mixed feelings about this holiday. I've never really had a Valentine before-- [unless you count my senior year when that boy I had never met before came to my school with a box of chocolates and a rose. which was AWKWARD.]--and I hated those girls that would walk around school with their balloons and flowers, all happy and giddy like they were rubbing it in that they were loved and I had no one. So I'd always be like, "Oh, who needs a guy when you've got your girlfriends?" But even though I used to think this holiday is stupid, secretly I wished I had someone to spoil me.

And then there was last year... When H and I were on-again-off-again dating. And I had gotten us season passes to Six Flags. But then the day before V-Day he broke up with me...and then tried to return the passes to me. [So many awkward Valentine's Day experiences.]

So yeah, this year was my first with a real Valentine. And I was excited. Thinking about the dozens of roses that H would shower me with throughout the day... Or the chocolates and the teddy bear that was bigger than I was. Oh, and maybe even some diamonds! Hahaha, okay. Let's just state the obvious: sometimes I have some pretty unrealistic expectations.

And then I started thinking about what I would do for H. As I'm sure you can imagine, all of these cute little crafts and projects that I had seen on Pinterest started rushing through my head. And I started working on a few different projects.

But then I started to think about who I was married to. And for any of you who know H, you are probably laughing and shaking your heads right about now. Because here's the thing... H isn't really into this stuff. I mean, not that he won't love it, but I just don't think he really appreciates this type of thing as much as I would, you know? He's the kind of guy that's like, "Oh I love this, it's so cute....... What am I supposed to do with it?" [And then there's me and my box full of anything and everything that reminds me of/has to do with mine and Heath's relationship.] But maybe that's just the difference between men and women? And if you only knew how many cute, lovey dovey scrapbooks and cards I have made for H since we've been together....

So anyway, I still gave him one of the cute homemade projects, but I also got him something that would be a bit more useful: a new phone that he has been wanting--the Google Nexus 4. [But of course, it didn't even get here in time.] Wife fail #237.

V-Day morning, H woke me up with heart shaped waffles. Literally, he cut the waffles into hearts. It was the cutest thing. And then he surprised me with the ring that I have been drooling over for the past month or so... it's a ring that says his name on it. And if you know me at all, you know that this is the most perfect gift. [I'm kind of obsessed with my husband.]

 [Ring was purchased here.]

When I got home from work that night, H greeted me with beautiful white roses, and then he took me out to my favorite restaurant: YC's Mongolian Grill. [If you haven't been there before, you need to go! It's seriously amazing.]

[Please ignore the Disney Christmas calendar that we still have up. And the bad quality phone pics.]

[Oh and for those of you who don't already know--I cut my hair! H loves it, and says it makes me look more like a wife. Score!]

After dinner, we contemplated going out and seeing Safe Haven, but we decided to just stay in for the night. So yeah, I'm not gonna lie: V-Day is pretty awesome. And it's even better when you're married.

I love my husband. I am so glad that I was a stalker persistent and never gave up on him. I am the luckiest girl to call him mine. I love that he is so sweet and considerate. I love that he dances with me in the kitchen, even though he doesn't like to dance. I love that he offers to make me dinner all the time, even though we both know he can only make top ramen. I love that he always opens the car door for me. I love that we can talk and laugh about everything. I love that he calls me baby poo [no judgement!] I love being able to cuddle him all night. I just love being in love. It makes everything so much better; even a silly holiday like Valentine's Day.

Happy love day, world!